31 October 2011
my thoughts after watching Dear John
sometimes i wonder if i could ever be in a love story like everybody else has been currently in to.
sometimes i wonder if the most mundane things ive seen in true to life romances would feel surreal when it would happen to me.
or if there is somebody out there for me, also wandering alone, or perhaps, still clinging with the wrong girl.
or if he's yet to come.
or if i never gave him a chance.
sometimes i wonder if somebody would ever chase me. i always imagined that there'd be one, someday. but thinking about it, weighing the probability of how many guys are willing to take the risk and not seeing it as a burden, i think nadda.
or if somebody could make me move from my seat to make me chase him.
or if id still be that girl who keeps her cool and would chase no one.
or if i would experience these all.
-geianne
life's a riot
mmmm writing in this squeaky clean sheet feels weird. yep ive just updated my blog with the new offered look. anyway im not going to talk about how unlikely these new settings blogger had updated so lets skip it. let's talk about my fun night with marj, era and jezrah yesterday.
but before that, i must tell you this: i apologize if the words i use lacks certainty and emotions or if my grammar goes ga ga. im really not into writing right now; my throat is aching yet i wanna eat chocolates. right. i wanna eat lots and lots of food like chocochip cookies, dumplings, chicken a la king, steamed rice, beef teriyaki, and vanilla-filled pancakes. those stuffs. im having colds and i feel like sneezing like every freakin second though i cant, my eyes are watery and my ovaries are bleeding, so bear with me.
anyway, yesterday was so fun that my head is still plunged in its sea of memories. marj and era were sitting on a bench when i arrived in our meeting spot in the park. before jezrah showed up, the city was bathed into darkness as the electricity went off and our mouths were still in its usual pace, blabbing and laughing even more loudly since our faces were hidden in the shadows. when jezrah arrived, we talked even more about stuffs concerning her lurrrrve life and other complicated things and decided to wait for gretchen and bruce. anyway, both didnt show up and we decided to feed ourselves in a barbecue house and bickered at some waiters. after filling ourselves with foood (hmmm foood), knowing that the electricty is now on, we went at gretchen's, waited for jezrah's dude for minutes and decided to just leave after figuring out that the phone network isnt working well and everybody's receiving delayed messages.
era, marj, jezrah and i strolled along the boulevard mocking people with marj's dogbag named "eraaaay" (hahaahah oh era), we sang superbass while feeling the cold breeze hit our faces making us feel like were in a movie of some sort. we stopped for a while and looked towards the dark see and marj suddenly noticed our former journalist adviser and she was like whispering to us that he's near though the so called whisper got the attention of the dude and we ran like crazy.
we arrived in the park and toured around for somewhere we could comfortably locate ourselves. a few minutes later jezrah took off afraid that her grandmother would again blab her about how late she's out with us though it was still like 9pm.
I decided to buy some pancake and towards our way we kinda cross paths with my guybestfriend who is not quite my besfriend right now due to unexplainable circumstances in which i dont know of. after the little exchange of hellos we proceeded to the booth and came up with the thought that we were still full from our dinner so we took ourselves in the swing and awkwardly shared seats with a strange beanie who's been staring at us the time we let our butts hit the cold metal of the sitting place. her eyes were like wide with amusement as we were talking english so we decided to just let ourselves drift with the crowd in a singing contest at the kiosk. We listened, made a bit of fun of the contestants, blabbed, got ourselves mocked at, and eventually didnt give a damn. though watching the competition was one of the highlights of our little stroll.
but you know what the main event was? we got ourselves tangled in a middle of a fast pacing riot. in the streets, towards Jolibee, 10pm, in a Saturday night, and all we had in mind was to feed our stomachs.
we were talking while crossing the street and didnt even notice the guys behind us so when they hit eachother with slippers, and positioned themselves infront of us i thought they were joking and in my mind i was even like "awww" but as minute passed and i saw the glimpse of expressions of their faces and as i saw other guys banging a rod on eachothers' head thats when it made me realized that everything was dead serious. era and marj maybe kinda noticed too and we ran and i went to the other direction, and marj and era went to the other then everything was like in a buffering mode and the girls went to me and we watched the punks move their butts out of the street and continued their fights towards the dark part of the street and then we were laughing our lungs out. we pursued towards the snackhouse hysterically. our knees were even shaking as we ordered. wa chatted about our unusual experience, and at 10:30 we waved goodbye reminding ourselves that our agony of not seeing eachother will be cut short this december.
-geianne
27 October 2011
tearjerker
one of the best tumblr post my dashboard has ever encountered..
Marriage.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Marriage.
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
25 October 2011
sudden what-ifs
what if we just choose to love because of time?
what if when were muttering forever we dont really expect forever to happen (considering our life-spans as humans beings)?
what if we choose to be attached to someone just because life doesnt offer us an eternity and its already fixated in our thoughts that we somehow need to experience this human feeling?
what if saying "i love you forever" is somehow a twisted way of saying "i love you because i dont have forever"?
what if this feeling we are feeling is just driven by our human competitiveness and that somehow we just wanna comply this because falling inlove even in the most unexpected time is what seems normal?
what if we are just drawn to love because our nature as humans are known to be attracted to those of which we cant have in our grasp?
what if somehow, yes, we've thought that love lasts forever so we grab it, unconsciously attracted to things we cant have such as forever since we always seem to get what's impossible to have?
cause what if we have a lifetime, would we give love a chance?
cause what if love is just an excuse of saying we are living in an hourglass?
cause what if we are all immortal, would we dare to fall inlove knowing we could just do some other stuffs now leave all the loving later cause we have forever?
just some thoughts.
-geianne
what if when were muttering forever we dont really expect forever to happen (considering our life-spans as humans beings)?
what if we choose to be attached to someone just because life doesnt offer us an eternity and its already fixated in our thoughts that we somehow need to experience this human feeling?
what if saying "i love you forever" is somehow a twisted way of saying "i love you because i dont have forever"?
what if this feeling we are feeling is just driven by our human competitiveness and that somehow we just wanna comply this because falling inlove even in the most unexpected time is what seems normal?
what if we are just drawn to love because our nature as humans are known to be attracted to those of which we cant have in our grasp?
what if somehow, yes, we've thought that love lasts forever so we grab it, unconsciously attracted to things we cant have such as forever since we always seem to get what's impossible to have?
cause what if we have a lifetime, would we give love a chance?
cause what if love is just an excuse of saying we are living in an hourglass?
cause what if we are all immortal, would we dare to fall inlove knowing we could just do some other stuffs now leave all the loving later cause we have forever?
just some thoughts.
-geianne
24 October 2011
Scrappy
when we arrived home from the beach, Scrappy, our long time homedog passed away. he hasnt been well for a couple of days and i know he's guarding in a very nice place now. but i know i'll somehow miss those times when noone is looking and i get to do my happy dance in front of him and sometimes i go all smiley at his face and i sometimes mutter stuffs to him. he usually stays infront of the house during night time like a sheriff and usually gets playful whenever he sees me bringing a plate towards granny's and im kind of finding it weird that this morning when i stepped out of the house, his usual lazy face wasnt around. oh that dog.
-geianne
-geianne
monday is beach day
here's the thing. click it.
so basically, me owning monday isnt really quite usual since i dislike the particular day, but yesterday it proved me its not so bad after all.
me and my family decided to went to the beach and well... did beachly stuffs like eat, dance, talked and swim.. you know like what normal human beings do when they're at the beach. i somehow ditched one of my girls' invatation of spending lunch at somewhere and didnt even bother to answer their calls i dont know why. i am not in a feud with them just fyi. i just feel like it. and ive got no cellphone load to text them back. *shrugs*
well, it was fun hanging out at the beach with my family! :)
-geianne
so basically, me owning monday isnt really quite usual since i dislike the particular day, but yesterday it proved me its not so bad after all.
me and my family decided to went to the beach and well... did beachly stuffs like eat, dance, talked and swim.. you know like what normal human beings do when they're at the beach. i somehow ditched one of my girls' invatation of spending lunch at somewhere and didnt even bother to answer their calls i dont know why. i am not in a feud with them just fyi. i just feel like it. and ive got no cellphone load to text them back. *shrugs*
well, it was fun hanging out at the beach with my family! :)
-geianne
22 October 2011
peaceful reading gone noisy blabbing
the city was again up with its weekly electricity cut-off so me and my buds era and marj decided to kill boredom by deciding to have some book reading at some peaceful place.
when my grandpa dropped me off the park i went all giddy as i saw marj and era talking. we forgot our whole reading business that all we did was talk about the problems and annoyance we feel towards our major college subs and somehow the whole talk got into the point where we mentioned a girlfriend of somebody and she just magically popped in the place so we ran off hurriedly and decided to chill at the boulevard.
while getting ourselves comfy in one of those benches where lovers during night time fondly do their kissy kissy, jezyl found us and ofcourse we blabbed about stuffs specifically about books but after a while we felt the sky did some drama and dropped us a lil bit of water so era, marj and i decided to move on to our next destination which is the snackhouse, leaving jezyl behind waiting for her other chums to come.
so basically while walking, the sky finally poured its heart out and we wandered on the familiar streets like wet chickens laughing their loud mouths out. a block before our destination, i dunno what got into us, that we decided to find ourselves some tricycle. i mean we're already dripping, what else could go wrong? but we did it anyway.
we ordered cheese burgers with egg and some noodles because we're monsters when it comes to eating.
after munching down all the food we went back to the park and placed ourselves into some swing-- we talked, cursed, did some fan-girling about celebs and saw rhudyn and lynnlie.
the girls waved goodbye after a few minutes of exchanging infos and gossips and not a little while longer marj decided to buy some mangoes before era and i dragged ourselves inside a store to buy some water.
we've wated and blabbed while waiting for my grandpa's motorcycle for me to ride home.
-geianne
when my grandpa dropped me off the park i went all giddy as i saw marj and era talking. we forgot our whole reading business that all we did was talk about the problems and annoyance we feel towards our major college subs and somehow the whole talk got into the point where we mentioned a girlfriend of somebody and she just magically popped in the place so we ran off hurriedly and decided to chill at the boulevard.
while getting ourselves comfy in one of those benches where lovers during night time fondly do their kissy kissy, jezyl found us and ofcourse we blabbed about stuffs specifically about books but after a while we felt the sky did some drama and dropped us a lil bit of water so era, marj and i decided to move on to our next destination which is the snackhouse, leaving jezyl behind waiting for her other chums to come.
so basically while walking, the sky finally poured its heart out and we wandered on the familiar streets like wet chickens laughing their loud mouths out. a block before our destination, i dunno what got into us, that we decided to find ourselves some tricycle. i mean we're already dripping, what else could go wrong? but we did it anyway.
we ordered cheese burgers with egg and some noodles because we're monsters when it comes to eating.
after munching down all the food we went back to the park and placed ourselves into some swing-- we talked, cursed, did some fan-girling about celebs and saw rhudyn and lynnlie.
the girls waved goodbye after a few minutes of exchanging infos and gossips and not a little while longer marj decided to buy some mangoes before era and i dragged ourselves inside a store to buy some water.
we've wated and blabbed while waiting for my grandpa's motorcycle for me to ride home.
-geianne
18 October 2011
la explicación
so here's your fair share of details about the cheeky kiss which my girl friends were buzzing about:
so meeting up with my family and old friends wasnt the only surprise in store i got upon going home. lets fast forward my story to the event of what happened yesterday night. from the park, we (me and my friends) hopped towards danette's place to tuck her inside her house but then only to find out that her fam is still out having dinner so we got to spend outside singing and sharing out our thoughts. there was something inside me that idk what but wanted to see my guy bestfriend after our silly lil SMS argument a few days ago so i suggested they'd walk me towards the gasoline stop to get my ride home. they knew and i knew that towards the way to our destination we would pass by his house. i just shrugged of the probability minding that he could be on a date with his girlfriend since that day was also their monthsary or if not, he had glued himself in front of the computer screen or whatever he's doing inside their house. (though some of my dudettes told me that he usually hangs out outside every night smoking and drinking with his new friends. ick.) so anyway, we were almost at their house and i was blabbing unidentified stuffs as usual, and my friends were like "there he is" and i was like "where" and they were like "there" until i saw him cross the street. he approached us giving all my girls some high five while i was on the side glaring at him still pissed about our argumentation. he talked to me but i just rolled my eyes and started to follow my girls when they were walking away but then he put a hand on my shoulder and side-kissed me on the cheek and the girls went a bit crazy and i was a lil stunned and they were like "eeeep" and inside my head i was like "lol dude what are u doing" but outside i was having the "hold it up buddy" look and glared at him a lot more and yea. as the girls were jumpy jumpy and was starting to circle around us i noticed him holding a cigarette stick and i went like "im not talking to you unless you throw that stuff away" and his explanation of why he was using it blurred a bit inside my ear since everything was fuzzy at the moment. good thing his girlfriend called and he went to the other side of the road and i started walking, with the girls trailing behind. well you see, yes i was stunned. but the other part of me is saying that i dont have to be, cause dude, we are bestfriends. now the other half of me is hoping it wasnt him who gave me the cheeky kiss. yes i had a thing for him before me and him became bestfriends but he knows who i want so lets not confuse the story. my story.
my night was a bit puzzled by the little incident so finally i kissed my girls goodnight and hailed a tricycle 5 sec before my guy bestfriend could walk towards us and i waved him buhbye. inside my mind im thinking about the other guy. the one i wanted to receive the kiss from. (lol not that im not thankful about my bestfriend but hey, this incident might cause confusion and all and i dont want more drama.)
you know who i want. or at least i think i do.
-geianne
so meeting up with my family and old friends wasnt the only surprise in store i got upon going home. lets fast forward my story to the event of what happened yesterday night. from the park, we (me and my friends) hopped towards danette's place to tuck her inside her house but then only to find out that her fam is still out having dinner so we got to spend outside singing and sharing out our thoughts. there was something inside me that idk what but wanted to see my guy bestfriend after our silly lil SMS argument a few days ago so i suggested they'd walk me towards the gasoline stop to get my ride home. they knew and i knew that towards the way to our destination we would pass by his house. i just shrugged of the probability minding that he could be on a date with his girlfriend since that day was also their monthsary or if not, he had glued himself in front of the computer screen or whatever he's doing inside their house. (though some of my dudettes told me that he usually hangs out outside every night smoking and drinking with his new friends. ick.) so anyway, we were almost at their house and i was blabbing unidentified stuffs as usual, and my friends were like "there he is" and i was like "where" and they were like "there" until i saw him cross the street. he approached us giving all my girls some high five while i was on the side glaring at him still pissed about our argumentation. he talked to me but i just rolled my eyes and started to follow my girls when they were walking away but then he put a hand on my shoulder and side-kissed me on the cheek and the girls went a bit crazy and i was a lil stunned and they were like "eeeep" and inside my head i was like "lol dude what are u doing" but outside i was having the "hold it up buddy" look and glared at him a lot more and yea. as the girls were jumpy jumpy and was starting to circle around us i noticed him holding a cigarette stick and i went like "im not talking to you unless you throw that stuff away" and his explanation of why he was using it blurred a bit inside my ear since everything was fuzzy at the moment. good thing his girlfriend called and he went to the other side of the road and i started walking, with the girls trailing behind. well you see, yes i was stunned. but the other part of me is saying that i dont have to be, cause dude, we are bestfriends. now the other half of me is hoping it wasnt him who gave me the cheeky kiss. yes i had a thing for him before me and him became bestfriends but he knows who i want so lets not confuse the story. my story.
my night was a bit puzzled by the little incident so finally i kissed my girls goodnight and hailed a tricycle 5 sec before my guy bestfriend could walk towards us and i waved him buhbye. inside my mind im thinking about the other guy. the one i wanted to receive the kiss from. (lol not that im not thankful about my bestfriend but hey, this incident might cause confusion and all and i dont want more drama.)
you know who i want. or at least i think i do.
-geianne
17 October 2011
reunited
with friends. at una's. blabbed. went to the park. ate battered eggs. blabbed. went back to the park. blabbed some more. watched the rain fall from the grey sky with old friends in each of my side. ate barbecue. went back to the park again. walked danette home. kissed on the cheek by my guy bff. rode on a tricycle. home.
p.s. more things are to be discussed tomorrow. its already 1:20am, yes im sleepy.
-geianne
p.s. more things are to be discussed tomorrow. its already 1:20am, yes im sleepy.
-geianne
16 October 2011
home sweet home
after about four months of living on my own in a big city, im finally back in my personal neverland :)
-geianne
-geianne
13 October 2011
"dont get attached."
but i did, anyway.
in a span four months i didnt expect to like the people that ive once disliked and that im capable of turning ice into comfortable warmth.
but i did, anyway.
in those four months ive told myself that im quite sure im not going to repeat the cycle of getting too close to anyone especially on the last week of the first semester.
but i did, anyway.
with that four months i was sure i wouldnt like any of those strangers, there would be no new found good friends, and everything would be good once i get home, and everything shall be forgotten so i built a wall and promised myself not to get out of its perimeters.
but i did anyway.
now the four months had come to an end and a week ago i was confident that i wouldnt get myself set of friends to miss with during the semestral break.
but i did anyway.
-geianne
in a span four months i didnt expect to like the people that ive once disliked and that im capable of turning ice into comfortable warmth.
but i did, anyway.
in those four months ive told myself that im quite sure im not going to repeat the cycle of getting too close to anyone especially on the last week of the first semester.
but i did, anyway.
with that four months i was sure i wouldnt like any of those strangers, there would be no new found good friends, and everything would be good once i get home, and everything shall be forgotten so i built a wall and promised myself not to get out of its perimeters.
but i did anyway.
now the four months had come to an end and a week ago i was confident that i wouldnt get myself set of friends to miss with during the semestral break.
but i did anyway.
-geianne
10 October 2011
i say hello, you say goodbye
days, weeks, months had passed, and several blog entries had been posted throughout my struggle in this college journey. at first it wasnt easy. well nobody said it would be, but as time goes by, though we cant really point it out, we feel change. i feel change. and i feel myself changing...
today is monday. and just like every other mondays that typical humans mostly dislike, this day brought out something, that made mondays' reputation a lot worse. why? today was our final exam for Accounting501 and i must admit the 100-item shiz kicked my ass. really hard.
but despite all what happened during that specific disaster in form of 5-page answer sheet, i also had some lil moments that made this monday a win-win.
i got to sit with my guy crushmate (lol shhhhh) during our test in business ad 11 which was quite okay, by the way. so while answering the exam i was smiling the whole time and though we sat beside eachother i hid my smiley face under my hair so yea! i was like basically trying to contain my laugh through out the exam. yes, eeeeep. now i feel like a giddy fan girl but whatever, i really feel like it anyway. plus he offered to make my assignment in religious education so... whoopty doopty doo!
(yea, a lot of things about this guy) now here are some examples of the reason behind my illogical fan-girling:
1.) he likes our girl classmate but idk why he keeps on putting up useless not-so-creative discussions with me.
2.) whenever i try to block him off he just laughs and tells me how much of a bitch i am and sometimes he gets all my wits stomped back to my face.
3.) i dont really know the reason why i try not to smile whenever he explains something to me. like in math.
4.) he told me about how he likes my voice (though i know it sucks but really, i appreciate the compliment. well, i try)
5.) he told me im pretty not just in picture-stuff-kind-of-way and i just shrugged it off
6.) i feel weird whenever he looks at me. (oh gosh)
7.) he smells good. he doesnt smell like all masculine hard but more like a sweet scent.
8.) he sits beside me whenever i feel like a loner during our natural science class (finally, the subject had done me something beneficial this time!)
9.) his eyelashes could make barbie jealous. i always tell him that and he just do nothing.. smile a bit maybe?
10.) the guy's got a pair of good hands. man, the way he draw and doodle things!
yea, that was the first (set of) reason. the second was that i feel myself warming up towards my classmates. this afternoon, when we were doing something in wrocklage (study area), they got so noisy and the sister-incharge confiscated our ID's and well, it was.. fun! we finished our projects and trailed on the security desk to ask the security guard for some directions on how to enter school tomorrow morning without our cards and had some really good laughs.
too bad that this monday also is the indication that our newly bonded friendship will soon face the challenge of saying goodbye this week since next semester, we wont be in the same blocks again.
-geianne
today is monday. and just like every other mondays that typical humans mostly dislike, this day brought out something, that made mondays' reputation a lot worse. why? today was our final exam for Accounting501 and i must admit the 100-item shiz kicked my ass. really hard.
but despite all what happened during that specific disaster in form of 5-page answer sheet, i also had some lil moments that made this monday a win-win.
i got to sit with my guy crushmate (lol shhhhh) during our test in business ad 11 which was quite okay, by the way. so while answering the exam i was smiling the whole time and though we sat beside eachother i hid my smiley face under my hair so yea! i was like basically trying to contain my laugh through out the exam. yes, eeeeep. now i feel like a giddy fan girl but whatever, i really feel like it anyway. plus he offered to make my assignment in religious education so... whoopty doopty doo!
(yea, a lot of things about this guy) now here are some examples of the reason behind my illogical fan-girling:
1.) he likes our girl classmate but idk why he keeps on putting up useless not-so-creative discussions with me.
2.) whenever i try to block him off he just laughs and tells me how much of a bitch i am and sometimes he gets all my wits stomped back to my face.
3.) i dont really know the reason why i try not to smile whenever he explains something to me. like in math.
4.) he told me about how he likes my voice (though i know it sucks but really, i appreciate the compliment. well, i try)
5.) he told me im pretty not just in picture-stuff-kind-of-way and i just shrugged it off
6.) i feel weird whenever he looks at me. (oh gosh)
7.) he smells good. he doesnt smell like all masculine hard but more like a sweet scent.
8.) he sits beside me whenever i feel like a loner during our natural science class (finally, the subject had done me something beneficial this time!)
9.) his eyelashes could make barbie jealous. i always tell him that and he just do nothing.. smile a bit maybe?
10.) the guy's got a pair of good hands. man, the way he draw and doodle things!
yea, that was the first (set of) reason. the second was that i feel myself warming up towards my classmates. this afternoon, when we were doing something in wrocklage (study area), they got so noisy and the sister-incharge confiscated our ID's and well, it was.. fun! we finished our projects and trailed on the security desk to ask the security guard for some directions on how to enter school tomorrow morning without our cards and had some really good laughs.
too bad that this monday also is the indication that our newly bonded friendship will soon face the challenge of saying goodbye this week since next semester, we wont be in the same blocks again.
-geianne
