reasons

my parents think im crying because i cant get into a block section to be with my old classmates. im crying because they dont see the bigger picture--that this is not me. but then again, they cant see how hard im trying to follow what they want. and they keep on comparing me to other people whom they think they knew so well. im crying because they havent realized how hard im trying to make them happy in my own ways, even though im a whole lot of a snob child. im crying because i have to listen to what people think rather than what the voice inside my head says. and its getting me delusional. im crying just because i feel like this is my cue to spill it, but i cant pour it out on their faces, because i know, by then, i'll be a huge disappointment than i already am.

they often question me out loud of how indecisive and lazy i am; that i couldnt make a stand. i mutter quietly inside my head that maybe im just too scared of their judgments and im still thinking of what to do. sometimes, i  silently question of what runs around their brains too, upon why they cant seem to figure out who i am when i am their own.

-geianne